Why is it so hard for me to trust God?
It doesn't help that since I started reading blogs about two years ago, I've come across tons of women with seriously stunning homes. Most of them have husbands with nice cushy jobs, and they can afford to pop out to any store they want, and anything they desire financially is at their disposal.
Me on the other hand? I always say it's lucky I like yard sales, because everything in our house is from one.
I swear that God brings our money situation "low" again every so often, just so He makes sure that we're "forced" to trust Him. He knows that as soon as things are good and the money is coming in steadily, it is so easy for me to forget all about Him in that area. I trust in the job, not in God. And that's so wrong.
It's been very easy for me to sit over here on my laptop and be very, very envious of the women with perfect houses. Perfect kitchens, perfect bathrooms, all the time and money in the world to go do any craft or home improvement they desire. And that needs to stop. I have been feeling the Holy Spirit's nudging of me lately, prodding me to realize how unhealthy that is.
Fact is, this is my life. We are where we are right now, and I know God is teaching me useful skills. Chris and I have been forced to examine areas that were non-essentials, and think outside the box when it comes to making and spending money. I'm thankful for different friends that have shared some great ideas with us.
Hopefully, Chris will have his business fully running in the next several years. He will be self-employed and money will not be such a constant worry. I know there are so. many. lessons I have learned from trusting God with money that never would have come my way if we'd had nice fat paychecks all along.
I'm still going to keep reading those blogs. Many of those women are so creative and I get wonderful ideas, both for our house now and in the future. But it is a very American notion to equate money with blessing - and it is something I have to keep reminding myself over and over not to do. God has blessed us with every spiritual blessing (Eph. 1:3), and money is listed nowhere in that verse.
With all my heart I want to be a woman that trusts God with everything she has. I'm learning, but I certainly have a long road ahead of me!
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ...
Ephesians 1:3
I wish there was a "like" button on blogger like there is on facebook. I am right where you are right now. I have all the same feelings. Trevor has been unemployed for about 2 months now and I might lose my job next month and yet we have everything we need. God has big plans!!
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how God works...I needed to read this today. We are going through a tough spot right now with some unexpected and hefty bills. I already work two part time jobs but dearly want to be hired for another I have inquired about, but it's not sounding very promising. It can be a real downer, ya know? But being reminded of all that you have said, things will be ok. Because afterall, we are blessed with the greatest blessing of all, Jesus Christ!
ReplyDeleteNancy
I am so with you on this one Jess!! Our house is small, and we have no means to change that and buy something bigger in the near future.
ReplyDeleteAnd for years I've struggled with finding contentment with what we have. That is one reason you will see that I change things often - new paint, new fabric, re-arranging a room, etc ... all help keep things fresh when I start to feel that discontentment creep in again.
And I have finally learned to love our house and where we're at.
I still have my days ... just the other day I was going over to see our friend's new house - they recently moved back in state and their house is seriously a mansion. I don't know any other person {personally} that has a house as big and gorgeous as theirs - they also drive very nice, very expensive cars ... it is so hard to be content and not jealous after going there!
But the funny thing was ... earlier that morning while I was doing my quiet time, the verse I read said something to the affect of "keep your lives free of the love of money, and be content with what you have." WOW Lord, just what I needed to hear that very morning! And you know what? Those friends don't know the Lord {or have any desire to know the Lord} ... so I have wealth that far outweighs their gorgeous mansion! I have a mansion in glory to look forward to!
Thanks for sharing ... I think you do a beautiful job with your home and family!
Love, Kathy
I ran across you blog through Nancy's Tidbits.
ReplyDeleteI could have written this post. I've struggled with the exact same issues, but God always reminds me what my true blessings are.
I bet your home is warm, inviting and beautiful. It doesn't have to be perfect or new to be beautiful!
Blessings!