Consider this a P.S. To My Last Post

I wrote my last post on Sunday, which pretty much detailed exactly how I’m feeling about the waiting stage of my life.  On Monday night I couldn’t sleep (common occurrence lately), and when that happens I really try to redeem the time by praying.  (And yes, it always puts me to sleep.  haha!)

{I want to preface this by saying that in our couple’s Bible study we’ve been reading – and just completed last week – Forgotten God by Francis Chan.  It is all about the Holy Spirit and how He works in, through, and for us.  It’s incredible and I can’t recommend it enough.}

Anyway, so I’m laying there stressing out, in the dark, and I’m trying to pray.  All of a sudden I heard a Voice in my head – which I previously wouldn’t have thought was the Holy Spirit, but now I totally do – say, crystal clear, “You’ve been making houses your delight and not Me.  Find your joy in Me.” 

And you know what?  He is right (duh).  I have been basing every ounce of my happiness and joy and contentment on if I get a house.  When I think we’re close to getting one, I’m soaring on the clouds.  When we inevitably don’t get it, I come crashing down….hard.  That is SO not the life God wants for me.  HE is my joy, HE is my delight, HE is the Constant in my life that never ever ever changes.  Everything else can fade away and HE will remain. 

I can’t tell you how much that has revolutionized the way I think…about our housing and about everything. I am still a human, and still a very emotional one at that, and do I still want to stop living with my parents rightthisverysecond? YES. 

As I’m typing this, we have an offer waiting on a new house – a fifth house.  This house has been on the market since September 10th.  It had a price reduction in October but hasn’t changed since then.  It has been sitting all winter.  It’s not our ideal house but it would totally work for us and we felt like we should consider it.  We saw it on Wednesday and put an offer in on Thursday.  We were supposed to hear by Saturday.  Okay, no worries, deep breath, I can do this…..Jesus is my joy, Jesus is my joy……

And then I get an e-mail from our realtor today, forwarding the sellers’ realtor’s e-mail: “Another offer is coming in this morning.  Have your buyers prepared with their highest and best offer.” 

Fifth house.  Third bidding war.  This isn’t supposed to happen – this is supposed to be a family that’s had a house sitting all winter and now has us and only us to negotiate with.  Not two buyers who are going to blindly put in their best offers and hope to get a house from them.  I just want to scream that it’s not fair and how many times can we do this God and please oh please let them pick US this time, for once!!!  If it’s anything like the last two bidding wars, we will wait all weekend and still might not know anything until next week.  Days and days of apprehension that still might lead to a sad answer.

So clearly, my life is SO not perfect.  I may feel nauseated this afternoon and that’s a human emotion/feeling that I really have no control over.  

But I keep telling myself that God is my delight, not a house.  And it really is helping.  Because it’s TRUE.

“Delight yourself in the LORD….” {Psalm 37:4}

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P.P.S. I promise next week I really will be a fun blogger again.  Like with recipes and thrifting finds.  It’s coming, it really is.  Be excited. ;)

P.P.P.S. Thanks for all the e-mails and FB messages this week, filled with encouragement.  You guys are awesome!