A Letter to Luke on His 2nd Birthday

My sweet boy,

I can’t believe that today you are TWO.  TWO!  As many times as I say it, it still doesn’t seem real.  

I will never forget the day I found out that you would be in our lives.  On November 17th, 2008, we found out that someone would be changing our lives forever, but it wasn’t until March 2nd, 2009, that we found out it would be YOU.  I had been praying so hard that God would let me be a little-boy mommy the first time around, and I remember crying such tears of happiness when the technician told me that you were undoubtedly a boy.  It was then that I knew you were my “Luke” and not just “baby” anymore.  I was so thankful and overjoyed that God had given me the desire of my heart! 

We found out on Monday, July 6th, that we were going to get to meet you in two days – quite a bit earlier than we expected.  07-08-09 was our “let’s go get him” day and we thought that it was so neat that your birthday was going to be such a memorable date.  I knew you needed to come out, and I was a little nervous for you, but mostly excited – so, so excited.   Even though we had SO much to quickly do, those two days just seemed to drag on and on and on.  We went out to eat the night before, and I ordered a meatball grinder as my last pregnant meal.  I wanted to go out right. :)

And then the day came!  I hardly slept at all the night before (how could I?!).  We got to the hospital at 4:30 and started the journey to meet you.  I was tired and people kept telling me to rest, but again: how could I?!  Today I was meeting my Luke and I was just too excited. 

07-08-09 ended up being the longest, scariest, most emotion-filled day of my life.  By the time you are old enough to read this, you will probably have already heard Mommy and Daddy’s stories of what that day held for all three of us.  It did not go at all like we or Mommy’s doctor had expected or hoped. 

Sometimes when I think about that day, I still cry a little.  It was a hard day – much harder than I ever thought it would be.  But then I stop and think about what would have happened if you were born in 1909 instead of 2009 or if Mommy’s doctor hadn’t been so fast-moving.  You probably would never have made it to come out and meet us – or your little brain and lungs would have sustained a lot of damage.  Maybe too much damage.  So when I start to feel sadness creep up, I think about those things, and I am beyond happy and grateful that God chose you to be born when He did and to whom He did. 

Because in the end…we got YOU. 

And you were beautiful.  From the moment you were born, right up until today, I have had no end of people stop me – in stores, in parks, in church, wherever - and tell me that you are honestly the most beautiful boy they have ever seen.  And I believe them, of course, because I think it is true. :) Mommy had told everyone and their brother AND their mother how much she hoped you had hair and you did not disappoint.  (Although we did think it would be blonde, not black – that was such a surprise!). 

You were such a little peanut, and so helpless and teeny-tiny and precious.  You had a whole bunch of fuzz on you, from coming out early, and we jokingly called you “Esau.” 

I could not get enough of you. 

We stayed in the hospital for four days to help you and Mommy heal from a few things, and then we came home and started our real life together as a family. 

We watched you grow…..

and learn…..

and giggle…..

and eat…..

and be a silly monkey. :)

You turned ONE and then we got to start experiencing the joy of toddlerhood with you.  You learned to walk, run, and jump, you learned to eat with a spoon and a fork, you learned to put on shoes, your vocabulary started taking off, and you grew much more independent in so many ways. 

We fell in love with you as a baby because you were ours and you were so teeny and smelled so good. :)  It is fun to fall in love all over again with this new little boy that you are - growing up right before our eyes!

Over the last two years, I have learned so many things about you.  I know that when you climb up into your highchair, you are ready for me to feed you RIGHT now – no matter what I’m doing at the moment.  I know that when you are tired, you like to have your paci (yes, still!) and a head of hair to play with, whether it’s yours or someone else’s.  I’ve learned that you are fascinated by animals, of all kinds, and you like to hold a matchbox car in each hand as you walk around the house.  You love to read books (alone and with us) and when you watch Curious George, you get so excited and pump your right arm so hard it makes us all laugh.   

I know where you are ticklish and what can make you smile and what will scare you.  I know that you love to line things up in rows and organize things and that you are so observant; you notice things in pictures and fields and stores that Daddy and I would otherwise have completely missed. 

You sing all the time for us, and Daddy and I love it – we hope you will be musical like us, someday! (But it’s totally okay if you aren’t.)

I love that you have a little lisp on the word “s” sometimes and I secretly hope it stays around for a while, because I think it is the cutest thing in the world. 

I love that you are still sweet and innocent – I can’t remember a single time when you have ever tried to push or hurt another little boy or girl.  (Although I think once you did put sand on someone’s head. :) And you have not yet started the “mine” phase, for which I am thankful. 

You recently started saying “hi” to inanimate objects (like your stuffed animals), and people in stores, and it is just too cute for words.

Your most favorite food in the entire world is milk – you just can’t get enough of it, even though you usually only get it at morning and night.  You were calling it “mosh” until just a week ago, when you finally started calling it “melk” just like your Auntie Lindsay. :)

I could go on and on and on, sweet boy.  You are my little buddy, and since we spend all day, every day, together, Mommy knows you inside and out.  Every day your brain makes new discoveries and new connections, and I love being here to watch it all happen. 

You are the light of my life.  I love you so much it makes my heart actually ache.  I would do anything in the world for you, sweetheart.  

My deepest and strongest desire for you is that you would grow up to love God with your whole heart.  Daddy and I pray over you every night with that request, and that you would be a man who loves others and who does great things for Him.  Right now, as I type this, I am praying that at whatever point in the future you are reading this, you have already given your life to Jesus and and want to be a part of His mission for the world. 

I love you, I love you, I love you.  You are my most favorite boy in the whole wide world.  I hope when you are old and you read this blog post and my other journal entries about you, you will be able to catch just a glimpse of how much my heart was filled with love for you.

I’ll love you forever,
I’ll like you for always,
As long as I’m living,
My baby you’ll be.

I love you to the moon and back! Happy 2nd birthday!

- Mommy